Less Of Me, More Of Him

           Sometimes my lack of faith disgusts me. Sometimes my lack of understanding, laid bare by the situations and circumstances of life, cause me to cry out to God in fear and anxiety. Sometimes I wake up at night with an overwhelming fear, where I feel like I am trapped in a vehicle that has constrained my arms and legs so I can’t move and my claustrophobia kicks in to overdrive and overwhelms me to such an extent that I am forced to get out of my bed and move around just to prove to myself that I still can. It leaves me breathless. Do I have your attention now? Good. Let me tell you something even more personal - Most times when I sin – I planned it. It’s first degree sin… and if you’re really honest with yourself the same is true for you.

I need you all to understand this one point - because it’s really the main point of this writing – The facts presented in the previous paragraph do not change one important fact – I did not choose Him – He chose me! No matter my sin or fears or lack of faith in God’s faithfulness one thing never changes – Him. Nor is my status as a son of God somehow placed in jeopardy by my inability to escape my sin and fear. It does not even disqualify me from the blessings God has for me. He blesses me many times daily. It simply serves to show me that no matter how hard I try or how desperately I want to be holy as He is holy or how badly I just want to be accepted by Him I will be unable to do it in this life and in this mortal frame, as this body is temporary, just like my fear. In fact, if my priorities are straight, my fear and weaknesses remind me daily of this one important fact: I am not good and that is exactly as He planned it. That’s why God, in Jesus, had no other choice than to die for me. That fact is central to a healthy understanding of the Gospel and if it’s not the same for you, then you might believe a lie.

I get that perfect love casts out fear. I know that there is now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus. I understand that all things are possible for those who love God. I realize that all things work to good for those who love God and are called according to His purposes. I’ve read the verses a hundred times but sometimes the fear still gets through. Isn’t it the same for you?

Most Christians know and believe all the verses I just quoted, yet fear and doubt are at an all-time high in church congregations. Why is this? This is because we are still living in a fallen world and though we may have heard and believed the truth it has not saturated us to the point where we believe it as the default - and frankly – according to the Bible, it will not in this lifetime – at least not completely, until we see Jesus face to face. Too many times I’ve seen someone I loved hurt or betrayed or killed when it seemed to make absolutely no sense at all and even seemed to conflict with the promises in the verses above. This is OK. This is life. It is hard sometimes and we simply don’t get a vote. When Jesus says, “Fear not” it was not intended as a command that we can use to feel guilty when we fear – it is a statement of fact, to comfort God’s children and remind us that there is no fear in His love, but God will allow fear because the very fear we despise in ourselves will point us to the truth of the scriptures about fear and how God’s grace is present in them. Steve Brown says all the time he is scared every time he gets on a plane but the fact that he still gets on the plane is a much bigger demonstration of his faith than getting on the plane if there were no fear. I concur. Perfect love casts out all fear – that is true – but my ability to love, and my understanding of God’s love have been corrupted by my upbringing, and my friends, and my church family, and all the other broken people and situations that have influenced me throughout the course of my life. Therefore I have far from perfect love – so I will fear from time to time. Like Steve Brown though, I get back on that plane. I climb in my big red death box and hurtle down the road at 70 every morning because I believe what God’s word says… sometimes.

I heard it said recently that what the life of a Christian looks like is perfectly exemplified in the words of John the Baptist in John 3 – “³⁰ He must increase, but I must decrease.” This means that our faith should not be centered on ourselves, like when we make ourselves a sin management project, where we are constantly focused with ridding ourselves of sin. This is because too often, like the Pharisees and Saducees in the parable of the prodigal son, we are so self-obsessed with doing better and trying harder that we reject those who God has actually put us here to reach.

Remember - Jesus was a friend to sinners and winebibbers. Most Christians I know in the evangelical Church today would be offended if that were said about them. Can you say the same for yourself or are you the typical evangelical in America today – You’re constantly surrounded by other Christians, at church 4 nights a week, all because it makes you feel good about you and keeps you away from places you shouldn’t go? Now don’t misunderstand – when you first come to know Jesus, this may be necessary for a time, but God does not call us to work within the confines of any four walls – even the walls of a church building. All of creation is the Lord’s. How about we set our minds on God’s purposes; to love and to serve others, rather than continue our silly, futile, prideful efforts at self-sanctification? Allow your sin and weakness to become just as big a part of your witness as your victories, so that Jesus will be at the center of the tale, instead of you. You’ll be surprised how our weaknesses grab the attention of those we are placed in the paths of. Think about the first paragraph of this blog – didn’t that title and opening remark make you want to hear that story? The love and grace of Jesus Christ in the face of our unrighteousness should be the center and focus of every Christian witness. It’s the only human story with a happy ending and the only way to witness that reflects less of us and more of Him.