A Public Confession/Apology

          Hi folks. Just this week God reminded me of an irrefutable fact - I can be right and wrong at the same time. As a believer in Jesus I am free, so this is all only so I can apologize to any I may have offended, and for my own personal sanctification purposes. God is NOT mad at me.

I read an article a couple of weeks ago that just really disturbed me and frankly -  I couldn’t keep my big mouth shut. The article, which you probably have heard me talk about if you read what I write at all, revealed the fact (at least to me) that in America $8 out of $10 dollars that go to the Church are for buildings, property, and paid staff. I think this is a travesty, frankly, and in my usual bull-headed way I told you all about it – along with my solution. As I prayed about that after I realized two things

1. God never asked me to do that and

2. I think I heard angels laughing.

 

Now while I still think it is a travesty that we waste so much money, in my prayer time I came to understand that I was actually right and wrong at the same time.

I was right because if that were a secular charity and only 20% of the donations actually went to it’s proclaimed purpose no one would ever give to it (unless they were related to the family or owned stock or something).

I was wrong – NOT because it pushed some people’s buttons. It is something we need to think about. I was wrong – NOT because I didn’t feel I did my best to deliver that tough word in love. I truly did and I’m sorry if it hurt any of you.

I was wrong because it is not what God has asked me to do.

God has asked me to simply live and teach the message of His grace as much as my selfish frame will allow. He has asked me to do it AND keep my day job. He says it’s good for my ego.

He has asked me to proclaim it LOUDLY - because after more than 20 years of following Christ, I truly - for the first time since I first met Jesus - remember what it is to feel FREE INDEED! This new understanding of both the depths of my sinfulness and the heights of His goodness and mercy has turned the Gospel on its head for me. It has made the law more profound and the love more contagious. It has made the questions less scary and filled in soooo many blanks. It is the Gospel of Christ as something to be lived with joy and peace and contentment. It is not another task to do to keep favor with God, or another dinner to make, to show the church people how good I am, or another pledge drive I only signed up for because I felt guilty. That way of life is as dead to me as the truth of the Gospel is to those who are perishing.

Here’s an example - I now give my tithe just because God is good. Not because I’m guilted, or manipulated, or coerced into it. I can give it to a big or small church, I can give it all to the march of dimes if God so moves me. I can go three weeks without giving and believe it or not - the Lord of the universe, who knows my heart, sees my sacrifice and I don't have to prove it to anyone. The point here is that I choose where it goes and 100% goes to help people and spread the Gospel. Seeing each dollar work in each ministry, or each need God has asked us to seed into, has been much more gratifying than dropping a check in a bucket all those years, although if you know where it goes and choose to put it there I'm sure God is good with that if your heart is in it. However, now no one gives us the tax write off and it’s up to us if we even take it at all. It makes you take responsibility for your own giving in a whole new way. It also forces you to think about what you really believe.

           Through this change in paradigm, my faith has become so integrated with my every-day life that where and when I talk about Jesus is not at all based on who is around – but on what God is doing in my life at that moment. It is not forced, nor unwelcome. Witnessing is never contrived or manipulated, as it simply seems to flow from the joy in my heart. Everyone sees it. Some people (mostly the religious ones) even resent it. Some don’t like me for it – but that doesn’t matter. The vast majority of people see there is a joy in me that they rarely see in this world. If they know me - they know that joy comes from Jesus because I either have spoken of His goodness around them or they have heard me telling someone else. I just seem to talk about Him and it's just like sharing a comforting tale with a hurting friend. I talk about Him and His love for us. Most of these people know that when I say I love them – I mean it – because my life bears that out. I have loved them when there was nothing in it for me – no star to put in my book of another soul led to Jesus… and they noticed. It’s nothing but a smile and hug from another sinner who needed a shoulder to cry on. My need to perform is gone (most times) and has been replaced by a desire to serve and love hurting, needy people like me.

Please understand - I am not blowing my own horn here, but telling you of the change in my heart since I realized that God already approves of Ron Baker and I don't need to earn his approval as if He were some angry taskmaster. Now please understand - I'm so far from good that you wouldn’t like me if you knew even some of my best secrets, but the truth be told, I would be a little leery of you too if I knew yours. In spite of that – Jesus wants to use me, wants to use us, whenever we are willing, to play some small part in what He is doing here in this place at this time. I no longer EVER have to look over my shoulder to see if Jesus is watching, not because I do not sin, but because I know He is - and I also know that He told me it was finished!

So anyway – please forgive me for being so easily distracted and falling into the divisiveness that we are so easily led in to. The enemy seeks to kill and destroy my relationships with my brothers and sisters in Jesus, who I love and they know it, because I have served and loved them too. I apologize to each of you for being a part of the problem. I’m also sorry to say that it WILL happen again - because I am not like Jesus yet – but it gives me joy and fills my heart with hope when I remember Jesus said – “IT IS FINISHED”. I am free. Praise God.